((It really sucks to live for a year and a half in a city with a handful of people only to wake up in one with millions when you're a telepath. Schuldig has elected the drugged out of his mind route. Schu's voice is slurry and has that practiced slowness to it that only a drunk or a drug addict uses when trying not to sound like they're messed up.))

I need to get Nathan some... shoes. Not knives. Shoes.

Ja.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day according to all the signs.

Then Nathan I are going to see 'Cats' after the Sex Museum. It's around here somewhere.

Nathan is enjoying putting drawings all over my bar. Damn shame I don't have Dean anymore to scrub it off. He was good at that. I was probably one of the few in the city that got him sliding around in his sock-feet and underwear.

My beer is safer though. I seem to have a lot more now than I used to. How much was he putting away a night?

Now I just have to watch out for Matt trying to dip into my cigarette supply. I could chain Nathan to it and give him a knife, but if he shoots him, Elena will shoot him when she gets back.

Decisions, decisions.

Would anyone like to confess now or wait until tomorrow for 'As World's End Turns'?

((Sadly, Schuldig sounds pretty well drunk. Must be why he switched to his human 'clothes'.))

I know you're all waiting for the next installment of 'As World's End Turns', but I'm still fishing. I'll have something for you tomorrow that isn't full of cheating whore comments.

That said, I will give you a preview.

Down by the seashore, we had a certain Lord of Hell that was doing an oral mapping of a certain exorcist's tonsils. Let me tell you, that will be a very detailed outlay. There was clothing being clutched and maybe removed. Those lobstrosities probably got more of an education on human and demon anatomy than they liked. I didn't hang around to see if it ended with a happy bang or not, but it looked headed there. Hope they didn't get sand-burns or sand in uncomfortable places. There are better places to fuck than on the beach, people.

1) That fucking Tower is nearly right up on the beach. I say we all get too drunk to be conscious for anything it spews out.

2) Elena is my woman. I fuck her. You do not. Unless you're Ada. In that case, you can fuck her as long as I can watch and/or join in.

3) If a Winchester tries to grope my woman, I will be cutting off his supply of beer as well as his brother's.

4) Her panties? Those are only for her to wear. Matt, do not run around with them on your head. Do not put them on the lizard on the game. He doesn't like it.

5) Ada, I mean it. Anytime. Just make sure Wesker doesn't kill me out of jealousy later.

6) Stop trying to fuck my woman, Dean. I like you despite the fact you're demon hunter scum.

It's a good thing I'm locked away here. Otherwise, I'd have to be dragging Elena around by her warped head. I think the leftovers and their daddy-brother would object to that. Jenova is a pretty good kisser though. That snake thing she does with her tongue is mindspinning. Not bad for a space virus, huh?

Since I have time on my hands and nothing to do with it, I should get working on the next episode of 'As World's End Turns'. I can't have any of you missing who you were. I don't know who's going to be more horrified between the Redfields and Ashfords.

Could be worse. Everyone could be doing a stage production of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. Sephiroth or Lucifer would look horrible in the Frankenfurter costume although Sephiroth has the legs for it.

I hate cages. I wonder if they've considered how long I'll let myself stay here before I seize someone's mind to let me out.

Sunde will be closed due to idiots out in the fog and my aching head. Should anyone absolutely need the downstairs, I'll leave the door open. Just mind Dean and his gun if he's down there dancing in his underwear or guarding the beer.

Sunde will be open tonight for drinking or the like. It's an equal distance between the bathhouse and to here or the Lux. For once, I'm willing to let people sleep on the floor. I don't know about you all, but I'm exhausted. Just stay out of my room and out of the loft where Mello and Matt are staying. Dean, if you want that backroom bedroom, you better start cleaning this fucking place up at nights.

Oh fuck me raw.

There's an upside down advert card on the side of Sunde and a pet poster out here for Roxas the yellow cat and another one for someone named Konan who is evidentally a blue dog.

Elena, I'll be meeting you at Shin-Ra to walk you home, Mello and Matt too.

I know my Scooby-Doo boxers are a mainstay here in World's End, but someone taking them is pretty unacceptable. Since it wasn't anyone in the city, that leaves the nitwits upstairs. Who went and told the gods about Lent?

All right, people. By tomorrow, I better be the only one with a centerfold of Elena from 'PlayTurk' on my wall. There is no one else that needs one of those. The one of Ada from 'Asian Beauties' I wouldn't mind seeing plastered everywhere. Matt wasn't kidding when he said frilly underthings.

Sunde seems to have restocked itself which is a good thing. Lucifer and Aaron? What about you two? Did Lux and the Eatery fill itself? Oh, and Lucifer, fucking bite me, man. You're not getting my clients. Who wants to go listen to piano music when they can watch men and women strip their clothes off?

I take back that 'fucking bite me' if you ever feel like coming back in and stripping again. They might say 'tell the truth and shame the devil', but I can report that the Devil has nothing to be ashamed of or lacking.

I mean it all of you. Those Elena foldouts better be burnt after used for your pleasure. I don't want to see them tomorrow.

Sasori, where are you hiding out at?

What the Hell is that ugly building doing back? This somewhat negates the joy I felt taking a piss where Lux once was.

I know you're all waiting for this week's edition of 'As World's End Turns'. I'm working on. Been a slow week if one doesn't count Claire and Alex going at it like bunnies. That bed deserves the Congressional Medal of Honour for services rendered and battlefield experience.

I just need to go crawling through people's heads to find some last minute tidbits.

Sunde is closed tonight due to me looking like a tonberry and some bastard stabbing me. Everyone tell Kadaj thank you about not being able to get drunk tonight.

Valentine's Day! What interesting things you all come up with. Some I heard were:

Alfred and Alexia
Elk and Mia
Schuldig and Your Mind and Sunde
Barret and Nabooru
Sheik and Naoto
Cloud and Sephiroth
Kuronue and Karasu and Yue
Pamela and Belial
Janus and Freki
Ken and Marina
Yazoo and Kadaj and Genesis
Rufus and Barret
Bert and Jack
Angeal and Sephiroth and Genesis
Claire and Dean
Elle and Wesker
Itachi and Aaron and Sasuke
D and Leon
Matt and Mello
Regina and Lucifer
Kadaj and Yazoo and Genesis
Elena and Schuldig
Aaron and Sasuke and Itachi
Zexion and Axel
Matt and Mello

And by the way, Kadaj and Yazoo, if my women isn't back at Sunde in about three hours, your brains will be vacating through your ear. Either that or I seize Sephiroth and set him on you two. Give her back to me now, undamaged and alive. Don't make me come get her.

Since my woman has decided to wander off and create fanclubs to men like some screaming fangirl, I need a real companion. I can handle male or female, gender doesn't matter to me. Being a telepath in my one set of clothes, I can anticipate and meet most every need. In my other, I make an excellent defender if I feel the cause is worth it. There will be the occasional bump along the way, that being my dislike of Order. I also run the city's only strip club. All interested applicants, please let me know. I do expect a certain amount of cleaning and sexiness, not to mention occasionally catering to my will. Kinkiness preferred.

There's a few little things that most people don't realize. Men and women will never understand each other. Why? It all goes back to when we were little kids. See, girls played games where they worked together and played them for fun. We boys played games where we were against each other and played to win. Two different mindsets from childhood, you see? Ladies, when we men are reading the paper and you ask us to put it down and talk to you instead, we can't. We cannot put that paper down until we learn something you don't know so we can win the conversation.

Thus is Schu's wisdom for the day.

Yesterday was a good day. I nearly made Claire cry and forced two people to do deep emotional damage to themselves. It was great. Today would be pretty fucking good too if that fog wasn't creeping in.

Don't worry, kiddies, Cloud is still alive. Might wish he wasn't soon.

So if the good Wesker is back, does this mean that I need to batten down the hatches here at Sunde and get ready for a drinking invasion? Chris and Ada, you two still owe me from last time when you three went stumbling out drunk. One of you three fell on a chair and busted it. Don't make me put you on the blacklist with Jack Krauser.

If you do come in for another drinking party, how about bringing Claire and Leon? And that Alex guy? I bet out of those three I can get someone to get on stage and give a show. Better not let Claire. Her brother shoots things from what I remember. Leon! Leon, you know you want to get up there. You grin and women's panties drop in salute for a quarter mile. You know Ada's would if she didn't keep them clipped up after all the thieves kept trying to get them.

Elena, did you see that Aya yet? Makes Rhapsodos look like a sack of rocks.

I've been told I need to restart my betting board for the morning runs. Task Force, you all going to start racing the Turks? Come on. We need something to watch and cheer on. I'll even let you all rest in Sunde. The time when you most need a drink is before work, and you know it.

So, the strip was a good event. Elena, I met a man named Aya who will either make your panties wetter than Rhapsodos ever could or will end up replacing you. I haven't decided which.

Damn shame he doesn't like me very much. I can always change that.

Speaking of change, Jack Krauser, you fucking owe me for breaking that table. I don't know who the little blond was that you were getting frisky with on it, but it wasn't your usual Alfie. Either way, pay up or fix the damn table.

Things that don't always seem all that informative really are. It's just putting pieces together sometimes.

All you new people! Wouldn't happen to have a stripper among any of you, would we? I can always use a new dancer or two.

Private to all of Ada's friends:

We need to plan a birthday party. Ada's to be exact.

Cougar Woman Ada, did he live?

It's Friday night, and in honour of that, Sunde will be having a stripping contest tonight. Alfred Ashford, you are not invited. No one wants to see you get up on stage and shake it for Jack Krauser.

If you all can get Jaime Lannister up there, I'll provide a round of free drinks. Get Angeal up there, and I'll give them free for the night.