Schuldig

[Voice]

Sat, 09 May 2009 04:00:15 GMT

((It really sucks to live for a year and a half in a city with a handful of people only to wake up in one with millions when you're a telepath. Schuldig has elected the drugged out of his mind route. Schu's voice is slurry and has that practiced slowness to it that only a drunk or a drug addict uses when trying not to sound like they're messed up.))

I need to get Nathan some... shoes. Not knives. Shoes.

Ja.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day according to all the signs.

Then Nathan I are going to see 'Cats' after the Sex Museum. It's around here somewhere.

Tue, 05 May 2009 05:47:16 GMT

Nathan is enjoying putting drawings all over my bar. Damn shame I don't have Dean anymore to scrub it off. He was good at that. I was probably one of the few in the city that got him sliding around in his sock-feet and underwear.

My beer is safer though. I seem to have a lot more now than I used to. How much was he putting away a night?

Now I just have to watch out for Matt trying to dip into my cigarette supply. I could chain Nathan to it and give him a knife, but if he shoots him, Elena will shoot him when she gets back.

Decisions, decisions.

Would anyone like to confess now or wait until tomorrow for 'As World's End Turns'?

[Voice]

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 02:36:42 GMT

((Sadly, Schuldig sounds pretty well drunk. Must be why he switched to his human 'clothes'.))

I know you're all waiting for the next installment of 'As World's End Turns', but I'm still fishing. I'll have something for you tomorrow that isn't full of cheating whore comments.

That said, I will give you a preview.

Down by the seashore, we had a certain Lord of Hell that was doing an oral mapping of a certain exorcist's tonsils. Let me tell you, that will be a very detailed outlay. There was clothing being clutched and maybe removed. Those lobstrosities probably got more of an education on human and demon anatomy than they liked. I didn't hang around to see if it ended with a happy bang or not, but it looked headed there. Hope they didn't get sand-burns or sand in uncomfortable places. There are better places to fuck than on the beach, people.

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:41:54 GMT

1) That fucking Tower is nearly right up on the beach. I say we all get too drunk to be conscious for anything it spews out.

2) Elena is my woman. I fuck her. You do not. Unless you're Ada. In that case, you can fuck her as long as I can watch and/or join in.

3) If a Winchester tries to grope my woman, I will be cutting off his supply of beer as well as his brother's.

4) Her panties? Those are only for her to wear. Matt, do not run around with them on your head. Do not put them on the lizard on the game. He doesn't like it.

5) Ada, I mean it. Anytime. Just make sure Wesker doesn't kill me out of jealousy later.

6) Stop trying to fuck my woman, Dean. I like you despite the fact you're demon hunter scum.

[Voice]

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:47:34 GMT

((For those new to this, 'As World's End Turns' is a combination of fact, lie, and more lies. If Schu doesn't know it, he'll just make it up. Even if he does know the truth, sometimes he'll just lie for the joy of doing so. Some of it is true though. It's just if the characters can pick out truth from lies.))

The broadcast begins with two people talking, much like a pair of news anchors that don't realize the cameras are on. The shuffling of paper can be heard as well as Schuldig and Axel's voices.

Axel: So she's really fucking him?

Schu: While fantasizing about him, him, and her.

Axel: Would have never guessed.

Schu: She's kinkier than you and Zexion on 'Schoolboy Night'.

Axel:...

Schu: How do you get him to wear-

Axel: This thing is on.

Schu: Oh shi- Welcome to another edition of 'As World's End Turns! When we last saw our beloved characters, Wesker was conducting experiments, people were getting laid, no one had a clue, Zack was trying to look heroic, and...

Okay, nothing has changed really. That's all still going on.

Axel: We did have more deaths this month. Wait, month. I thought you were supposed to do this weekly.

Schu: Had to do a stint in prison with Dean Winchester offering to do things to me if I dropped the soap for him. Him snogging Alex during Valentine's Day must have given him ideas. Alex was groping him pretty good though. Claire might come home to a surprise one night. Explains why he thinks of Chris Redfield as 'fucking massive' all the time.

Axel: What is his fascination with you? Wasn't he the same one that keeps locking you in Sunde?

Schu: You think that's bad, you should see all the dreams he has about Elena. He's giving her a bit more credit for flexibility than she really has, but the tie thing is completely true. His ideas about Ada, Elena, and pie might not work all that well.

Axel: Sounds like a threesome.

Schu: Wouldn't his brother be shocked?

Axel: I don't know. I'm reading some of your family information here. Lucifer's fantasy about that piano was interesting.

Schu: He can't decide if he wants to fuck Michael or John. I've got ten on John.

Axel: He is the Lord of Hell. Shouldn't he get more than one?

Schu: Would be coming up in the world for John since I'm pretty sure 'Lu' is better at it than a succubus.

Axel: Who is Ana and why is she wanting to get Reno naked on her desk?

Schu: She's from the world of chocobo molesters and they're all kinky under the surface?

Axel: I thought Rufus was sleeping with Reno?

Schu: Uh. That might have been a note to myself. Reno was sleeping with everyone, and then he decided he wanted Elena. Elena had him pussywhipped in under a week so that he was groveling to her and all that. Then I came along, decided I wanted Elena and killed Reno. It was a mercy killing.

Axel:...

Schu: There's more to it, but those are the important parts.

Axel: What happened with the Wolfgang versus Wolfwood thing? The gods forgetting our names now?

Schu: Ihy pulled a fast one on Atra and pulled in Alexander Wolfgang, the junkie, versus Alexander Wolfwood, the level fifty-six dark wizard paladin.

Axel: I feel like I'm in a bad card game. What's this with Claire Redfield and Alfred Ashford?

Schu: Oh that. Remember the other week when we were our own worst enemies? One of the Redfields was Wesker, and one of the Ashford was Chris Redfield. Those two went and sexed each other senseless, and... I'm not sure where the hell Alfred came into it with him getting a hard-on beating on Claire. Fuck if I know. They're the Ashford. Even the Jenova Kids aren't that fucked in the head.

Axel: I'm almost glad we don't have brothers and sisters.

Schu: Alexia will find the naked picture he keeps under his mattress of her, and she'll beat him to death or Wesker will. She's twelve.

Axel: Sora and...

Schu: Oh yeah, that.

Axel: Sora is too young for that.

Schu: You didn't have to see it. That was disgusting. Could have done without seeing him and Riku with a Roxas in the middle.

Axel: Well...

Schu: It was nasty. Like Envy stalking Konan and watching her in the bathhouse.

Axel: You say stalking like it's a bad thing.

Schu: It's what he does while watching her that I could do without seeing.

Axel: Oh. Uh. Yeah.

Schu: ...

Axel: ...

Schu: There are days I'm almost ashamed you're my Nobody.

Axel: What? Don't we have news about the guy with the bombs that wants to get in the clothes of the one with puppets and the one with a mask? It says here that he dreams of stripping away Konan's robes too.

Schu: Don't talk about my son that way! Sasori is a clean and innocent boy.

Axel: You have kids? Someone let you reproduce? Does he call Elena 'Mom' and Nathan 'brother'?

Schu: He adopted me.

Axel: Must have mental problems.

Schu: Konan is pretty hot.

Axel: Wesker thinks so too.

Schu: That he does. Damn shame none of them get it that Konan thinks Zelda is pretty hot. How did Avari have that put? Daddy doesn't have what momma wants?

Axel: Why do you have a note to yourself that 'Touya doesn't wear underwear'?

Schu: Because he doesn't? He wants to use Hiei's or Kuronue's instead. You should see what he wants to do with those scythes spinning. Kids these days.

Axel: He could just come here and watch Kuronue take them off then. Wasn't that girl Yuffie carving Vincent's name on stuff?

Schu: She's got a crush on him the size of the Dark Tower itself. I was just glad it wasn't like Cloud with putting Barret in that sailorboy costume.

Axel:...

Schu: With a lollipop.

Axel: We have to have alcohol for this to ever be better someday. Think Barret ever got to see Strife running around in that dress? You said he did.

Schu: Cloud did, yeah. Zack probably taught him the finer points of it.

Axel: The Cloud in my world had Vincent's hand. Maybe we can get Vincent up on the stage and out of Rod's pants.

Schu: I need to get Lucifer back. That was a huge crowd. Regina had this dream about Lucifer the other night that they were on the beach, and it was wild. Most humans don't have that good of an imagination after having their brains rotted out by television. It was good right up until they both caught fire for some reason.

Axel: ...

Schu: Humans dream weird stuff. Demons do too, like Kurama's ones about vines, Hiei, and Yuusuke, but humans tend to be more elaborate. She seems to think Lucifer would take lacy panties off with his teeth. Endrance thinks that too, but they're more his than Regina's.

Axel: I would.

Schu: We don't need to hear what Zexion or Roxas wear under those robes. We might have to take Kennedy's title of panty-drops-at-a-grin title from him no matter what Claire dreams about or does in the bath house to him.

Axel: What's this say about Gabriel and Avari getting it on with Nabs directing?

Schu: That's more for John although she's had a few about Lucifer and Michael. I'm half-tempted to show her the ones that Sands guy has about Michael. That's a twisted relationship there. Lucifer is going to find out the details eventually. Love does not equal beating on, kids.

Axel: Didn't think angels could be kinky.

Schu: You ever notice how John looks like that guy from the Ma-

((For some reason, static overtakes it here, clearing briefly.))

Schu: -really looks like the guy who was the Devil's so-

((More static that finally clears.))

Axel: I thought you said Mello was the Crimson King.

Schu: I told you that off-camera!

Axel: I can't say that then? You said Matt was always putting him in white.

Schu: No! I said Matt dreams about Mello in a nurse's uniform or white in general.

Axel: Is Rufus? He wears a white suit. If Matt sees him in white, then Matt knows he's the Crimson King.

Schu: I am not discussing this.

Axel: But he is here... down in the city.

Schu: Well, yeah. He is. Or she is.

((It cuts out there as Axel and Schu settle down with some drinks.))

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:21:54 GMT

It's a good thing I'm locked away here. Otherwise, I'd have to be dragging Elena around by her warped head. I think the leftovers and their daddy-brother would object to that. Jenova is a pretty good kisser though. That snake thing she does with her tongue is mindspinning. Not bad for a space virus, huh?

Since I have time on my hands and nothing to do with it, I should get working on the next episode of 'As World's End Turns'. I can't have any of you missing who you were. I don't know who's going to be more horrified between the Redfields and Ashfords.

Could be worse. Everyone could be doing a stage production of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. Sephiroth or Lucifer would look horrible in the Frankenfurter costume although Sephiroth has the legs for it.

I hate cages. I wonder if they've considered how long I'll let myself stay here before I seize someone's mind to let me out.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:29:29 GMT

Sunde will be closed due to idiots out in the fog and my aching head. Should anyone absolutely need the downstairs, I'll leave the door open. Just mind Dean and his gun if he's down there dancing in his underwear or guarding the beer.

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 06:30:44 GMT

Sunde will be open tonight for drinking or the like. It's an equal distance between the bathhouse and to here or the Lux. For once, I'm willing to let people sleep on the floor. I don't know about you all, but I'm exhausted. Just stay out of my room and out of the loft where Mello and Matt are staying. Dean, if you want that backroom bedroom, you better start cleaning this fucking place up at nights.

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 01:57:55 GMT

Oh fuck me raw.

There's an upside down advert card on the side of Sunde and a pet poster out here for Roxas the yellow cat and another one for someone named Konan who is evidentally a blue dog.

Elena, I'll be meeting you at Shin-Ra to walk you home, Mello and Matt too.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 17:57:30 GMT

I know my Scooby-Doo boxers are a mainstay here in World's End, but someone taking them is pretty unacceptable. Since it wasn't anyone in the city, that leaves the nitwits upstairs. Who went and told the gods about Lent?

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:36:48 GMT

All right, people. By tomorrow, I better be the only one with a centerfold of Elena from 'PlayTurk' on my wall. There is no one else that needs one of those. The one of Ada from 'Asian Beauties' I wouldn't mind seeing plastered everywhere. Matt wasn't kidding when he said frilly underthings.

Sunde seems to have restocked itself which is a good thing. Lucifer and Aaron? What about you two? Did Lux and the Eatery fill itself? Oh, and Lucifer, fucking bite me, man. You're not getting my clients. Who wants to go listen to piano music when they can watch men and women strip their clothes off?

I take back that 'fucking bite me' if you ever feel like coming back in and stripping again. They might say 'tell the truth and shame the devil', but I can report that the Devil has nothing to be ashamed of or lacking.

I mean it all of you. Those Elena foldouts better be burnt after used for your pleasure. I don't want to see them tomorrow.

Sasori, where are you hiding out at?

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:33:38 GMT

What the Hell is that ugly building doing back? This somewhat negates the joy I felt taking a piss where Lux once was.

I know you're all waiting for this week's edition of 'As World's End Turns'. I'm working on. Been a slow week if one doesn't count Claire and Alex going at it like bunnies. That bed deserves the Congressional Medal of Honour for services rendered and battlefield experience.

I just need to go crawling through people's heads to find some last minute tidbits.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 01:03:42 GMT

Sunde is closed tonight due to me looking like a tonberry and some bastard stabbing me. Everyone tell Kadaj thank you about not being able to get drunk tonight.

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:02:24 GMT

Valentine's Day! What interesting things you all come up with. Some I heard were:

Alfred and Alexia
Elk and Mia
Schuldig and Your Mind and Sunde
Barret and Nabooru
Sheik and Naoto
Cloud and Sephiroth
Kuronue and Karasu and Yue
Pamela and Belial
Janus and Freki
Ken and Marina
Yazoo and Kadaj and Genesis
Rufus and Barret
Bert and Jack
Angeal and Sephiroth and Genesis
Claire and Dean
Elle and Wesker
Itachi and Aaron and Sasuke
D and Leon
Matt and Mello
Regina and Lucifer
Kadaj and Yazoo and Genesis
Elena and Schuldig
Aaron and Sasuke and Itachi
Zexion and Axel
Matt and Mello

And by the way, Kadaj and Yazoo, if my women isn't back at Sunde in about three hours, your brains will be vacating through your ear. Either that or I seize Sephiroth and set him on you two. Give her back to me now, undamaged and alive. Don't make me come get her.

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:56:33 GMT

Boys, you might be careful since I can read what you're saying to Roxas about Strife's disappearance, and everyone else in the city probably can as well.

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:45:03 GMT

Since my woman has decided to wander off and create fanclubs to men like some screaming fangirl, I need a real companion. I can handle male or female, gender doesn't matter to me. Being a telepath in my one set of clothes, I can anticipate and meet most every need. In my other, I make an excellent defender if I feel the cause is worth it. There will be the occasional bump along the way, that being my dislike of Order. I also run the city's only strip club. All interested applicants, please let me know. I do expect a certain amount of cleaning and sexiness, not to mention occasionally catering to my will. Kinkiness preferred.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:09:39 GMT

There's a few little things that most people don't realize. Men and women will never understand each other. Why? It all goes back to when we were little kids. See, girls played games where they worked together and played them for fun. We boys played games where we were against each other and played to win. Two different mindsets from childhood, you see? Ladies, when we men are reading the paper and you ask us to put it down and talk to you instead, we can't. We cannot put that paper down until we learn something you don't know so we can win the conversation.

Thus is Schu's wisdom for the day.

Yesterday was a good day. I nearly made Claire cry and forced two people to do deep emotional damage to themselves. It was great. Today would be pretty fucking good too if that fog wasn't creeping in.

Don't worry, kiddies, Cloud is still alive. Might wish he wasn't soon.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 23:36:25 GMT

So if the good Wesker is back, does this mean that I need to batten down the hatches here at Sunde and get ready for a drinking invasion? Chris and Ada, you two still owe me from last time when you three went stumbling out drunk. One of you three fell on a chair and busted it. Don't make me put you on the blacklist with Jack Krauser.

If you do come in for another drinking party, how about bringing Claire and Leon? And that Alex guy? I bet out of those three I can get someone to get on stage and give a show. Better not let Claire. Her brother shoots things from what I remember. Leon! Leon, you know you want to get up there. You grin and women's panties drop in salute for a quarter mile. You know Ada's would if she didn't keep them clipped up after all the thieves kept trying to get them.

Elena, did you see that Aya yet? Makes Rhapsodos look like a sack of rocks.

I've been told I need to restart my betting board for the morning runs. Task Force, you all going to start racing the Turks? Come on. We need something to watch and cheer on. I'll even let you all rest in Sunde. The time when you most need a drink is before work, and you know it.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:37:41 GMT

So, the strip was a good event. Elena, I met a man named Aya who will either make your panties wetter than Rhapsodos ever could or will end up replacing you. I haven't decided which.

Damn shame he doesn't like me very much. I can always change that.

Speaking of change, Jack Krauser, you fucking owe me for breaking that table. I don't know who the little blond was that you were getting frisky with on it, but it wasn't your usual Alfie. Either way, pay up or fix the damn table.

Things that don't always seem all that informative really are. It's just putting pieces together sometimes.

All you new people! Wouldn't happen to have a stripper among any of you, would we? I can always use a new dancer or two.

Private to all of Ada's friends:

We need to plan a birthday party. Ada's to be exact.

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:52:06 GMT

Cougar Woman Ada, did he live?

It's Friday night, and in honour of that, Sunde will be having a stripping contest tonight. Alfred Ashford, you are not invited. No one wants to see you get up on stage and shake it for Jack Krauser.

If you all can get Jaime Lannister up there, I'll provide a round of free drinks. Get Angeal up there, and I'll give them free for the night.

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:20:00 GMT

This week on 'As World's End Turns'.

Someone needs to make me some theme music. Something light but with that mysterious undertone. That Endrance guy used to do a radio show. Bet he could.

Speaking of Endrance... for those who don't know, Endrance is our resident Cat-lover, and when I saw 'love' I mean -love-. He used to write poetry to his cat-wizard. Even I'm not sure which it is. For those of us from the old days, Lucifer Morningstar has made his way back to us. Yeah, the Lucifer. Wonder if this ties into Atra's claims that 'Satan Claws' was watching us at Christmas. Old Splitfoot isn't the only with SuperPhenominalNearlyCosmicPowers or whatever it was that little blue guys used to say. Could be anyone in town...

Well, Wesker went and killed someone. Again. This wasn't as bad as the time he splattered Lucrecia Crescent over a ten foot by ten foot area on a wall. Or the time he infected Shu with the T-virus and put him in the same cage with Rufus Shinra who got to see Shu died and subsequently became lunch for Shu-zombie while Elena was chained to the wall and had to watch. Or the time he popped Yazoo's skull like a grape. Or kidnapped Zack to inject him with... well, where's the fun if I tell that?

Shit, Wesker is catching up to me with kills. Yeah, Wesker killed Itachi with the T-virus. Will Aaron finally get over it and tell Itachi that while he was gone Aaron was snuggling up in that ugly coat? Sasuke has sworn revenge! Like no one has ever done that before...

So, if two brothers are sleeping with the same person, is it still incest? Or what do you call it when you used to sleep with someone, but now a piece of you sleep with that person while another piece of you wants to either sleep or kill them depending on how the wind blows? Just showing once again that no matter how fucked up you think you are, the Jenova Kids are more. Unless you're the Ashfords.

Since the Jenova Kids always leads to talk of murder, tonight there will be another one. Last week, he or she got little Alfred Ashford. Even your resident telepath doesn't know who's going to get whacked tonight.

Alfred Ashford finally broke down and confessed his love to Jack Krauser. Everyone who was surprised, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it for missing the obvious. I still think Alfie calling Jackie his 'sugar muffin' is going a little far.

Angeal and Genesis broke up. It's like Kim and Steve calling it quits. Or was it Katelyn and Steve. Fuck if I remember. Brad tried to explain that to me once. Of course, you know, Genesis moving in with the Remnants to save Elena's life was... sickening. To quote Mello, 'Rhapsodos, you pansy'. Guess Kadaj needed his teddy bear at night although Yazoo has been pushing open Genesis' door at night too.

No, not that door, you perverts. See, you all just what it to be about sex. Do you know how many minds lit up at the thought of them getting it on? Sick people. Have some fucking sympathy for Sephiroth! He's got to lurk at the edges and watch all this. No wonder Cloud keeps kicking his arse. Or grabbing it. I forget which it was.

Matt and Mello had lots of sex. Big surprise. They're nineteen. It's hardwired into them. If I see Elena trying to sneak a peek again, I'm going to start making them do daily shows. What bothers me is why did Mello protest and quit the Task Force over not feeling like Matt was safe there... and then leave Matt on the Task Force?

New Arrivals? We got those too. There's D. He's a male, not a female, ladies. Just likes men named 'Leon' in that special way. Chris Redfield has returned too! Wesker might return to his favourite sport of 'Stalking the Chris' and buy us some free time.

I have ten bucks on Chris lays Alex Sheperd out too if anyone is interested in taking that bet.

The most terrifying alliance has been formed: Prince and Terra. The first victim to this evil was the thief Prince... who's got a thing for Nabsy... who has a thing for Avari... Something like that. Maybe it's just a pair of thieves admiring each other. Either way, little does one Prince know that the other Prince talked Terra into beating the other Prince senseless. Your heroes in action, ladies and gentlemen.

So who didn't see Zelda try to ride Prince like he was... For everyone who missed it, here's who got it on with who:
Zelda and Prince
Elena and Ana
Claire and Alex (Repeatedly)
Alfred and Krauser
Sasuke and Aaron
Avari and Leon Kennedy
Kadaj, Elena, Genesis ("I can do much better" will stay in my mind forever)
Matt and Mello
Elena and Matt
Wesker and Ada
Belus and Pamela
Minsc and Boo
Kuronue and Yue (Repeatedly. Demons and angels shouldn't play together)

Annnddd Vincent, Roxas, Armand, and Angeal were wusses. I think that about covers it. Karasu would have gotten some, but Genesis was locking people in closets and trying to baby Angeal.

Who dies this week? Who will be fucking who this week? Will good prevail? Find out next week on 'As World's End Turns'.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:10:37 GMT

I love these things. I get to take in everyone's dirty secrets and then relate them all back once you're sane again. It's great. So far, my favourite has to be Kadaj wanting to have a threesome with Elena and Genesis. I'm not sure who it disgusted more: Yazoo or Sephiroth. I'd put money on Yazoo. We'll need to see which of those two is sporting the green-eyed accessories later today from that black water shit.

Sunde is doing record business. Lust makes for great drinking. My only request is that Jack Krauser and Alfred Ashford not try to fuck on my bartop. No one fucks in Sunde except for me.

Speaking of which, if someone sees my woman, kick her home. At least she isn't waving her panties for all to see. That's more my job.

The Zelda and Prince Porno Hour has reached new heights of having the city's people speechless.

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:38:08 GMT

This week on 'As World's End Turns'.

The romance is still blooming between our little Ana and Armand, the Turk and the Task Force member. That has a great potential to get ugly given that they're two very different groups. As some of us know, Rufus Shinra failed in his bid to take over as director of the Task Force, wanting to merge his Turks and the Task Force into one.

Things get all the more complicated when one takes into account that at least a fourth of the Task Force members are also 'Queensguard' members. I wonder who tops in that. Eventually, a time is going to come when one will have to decide if their loyalty is on one side or the other. In a way, it's the very scenario Shinra warned against and why he refused to form the Task Force out of Shin-Ra Turks... the dictator having the local law enforcement under the control.

That pointy eared wench is sly like that, people. Need to watch her.

It's a good thing to see that the fucked-uped-ness that is the Jenova Kids is still in place. To make sure I get this right: Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz are parts of Sephiroth, the remnants of his will and spirit energy or just the incredible loads of bullshit that he shovels. Isn't that a bit like being your own grandpa or something? There's some serious incest going around that family, friends and neighbors. All is well with the world so long as Sephiroth and Company are still more messed up in the head than we are.

Kadaj needs to stop staring at Yazoo's arse though. That's... is that like jerking one's self off or is that a whole new level of narcissism that we don't have a word for yet? What does that say about Sephiroth if parts of him want to fuck other parts of him?

Let's see... we have new people!

Leon Kennedy, the only man that Ada and Wesker got snarly with each other over who was going to sleep with him. Then Claire came into the picture. I guess where a blond and a brunette can't handle things, a hot redhead can. That doesn't mean she's given up on Wesker. Good thing the gods cursed him awhile back that he can only spread the T-virus through just blood instead of all bodily fluids. Speaking of which, Jack Krauser has some interesting Ada fantasies that involve more rope and chain that I'm sure is absolutely necessary.

We're also taking bets at Sunde on how long it will be before that Sephiroth doll puts a blade through Genesis' eye while he's asleep or castrates him for the fun of it. That is, if Yazoo and Kadaj don't forcibly initiate big brother's former fucktoy into the 'family'. How cute is it that they've already given him the 'Them or Us' speech? We almost had ourselves an eruption of violence between Yazoo and Genesis that would have been on par with that VR room one long ago. Maybe we should start taking bets on if Genesis can lay low a part of Sephiroth since he couldn't take out the whole?

Eileen? Just like home, hmm? Wonder what Henry is doing without you? Would you be surprised to know that the Devil himself wandered into town after you did? Took me by surprise too.

Now Envy and Wrath are a fun pair. Complicated, but fun. Sort of like a homunculus Matt and Mello except that they're not as bright. They're going to raise all sorts of hell with the remnants. I can't wait to watch.

Alex Shepherd and Claire need to stop thinking dirty thoughts about each other and just do it. After all, one never knows when they could die or big brother Chris returns. For Alex, death would probably be easier than someone telling Chris that some guy Claire just met is doing the nasty with her.

Elle Bishop's deep love of 'Freddy' finally made it to the surface. Too bad this is rivaled by the deep... uh... 'love' that Alexia has for her brother. At least the parts of Sephiroth are all parts of him, not actual blood relatives panting for each other. So wrong. Of course, the sadistic things Elle would do to is about just as wrong.

Someone is considering a Terra, Roxas, and Axel threesome. Without the bloodshed. You all need to learn to control those kinky thoughts a lot better. Why do you all have to entertain such dirty thoughts about those three? Although, the one is right in that Terra could probably take Zexion out easy.

Ladies, what are you going to do when Nabooru takes off with all we men? Or are local rumours true that the blacksmith and the thief-of-men have a 'certain something' going on with each other?

It's like living in a city of horny teenagers somedays...

Probably why I like it.

And before I forget, Tifa stop fantasizing about Vincent! I don't want to know what sort of thong you think he wears under all that. For you information, he goes commando. The Cloud ones were bad enough.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:17:33 GMT

You know the only thing that really matters around the city is the gossip. The hot drinks for the Task Force members might matter too if I could keep Mello out. With those damn wight things out there, you all need some entertainment. So, I present for you all 'As World's End Turns'.

We have Lannister who can't decide if he wants to do Ada or Brienne. His happy thought would be them together although it flatters his old ego when any woman shows him some thigh. It's like the highschool quarterback past his prime. While we're on the subject, how about we lessen the fantasies of your desk. He's just about jailbait, and you don't need to be doing that until you figure out if it's for liking or hate.

Then we have Elena with her redhead fetish. Some of things she's like to do with Rhapsodos are disturbing to even me. Karasu would probably blow her up and I don't think she could ever look Angeal in the eye again without blushing. The whole goggles in her fantasies is starting to get a bit out of hand too. What is the fascination with pulling those off Matt with your teeth? The funny part is that her darker side wants to ride Sephiroth or Kadaj into the bed. Yazoo too.

Must be a Shin-Ra Company thing. Rufus wouldn't mind doing that either. Bunch of chocobo molesting freaks.

Zack Fair, did Angeal teach you to use Sheik's thing in that way? SOLDIER training must really cover -all- situations that might ... rise.

I'll spare everyone the really kinky things that Zexion wants to do to Roxas and Axel. Next time someone calls me sick, I'm referring them back to Little Boy Blue.

What is it about Sephiroth anyways? Is it the hair? He's got Angeal, Zack, Cloud (who scores extra points for the either violent or inventive place sex), Genesis, those women at the forge, and... Sephiroth flips his hair back, and the underwear of everyone in a half-mile radius drops in salute. Was it that way back on Gaia? Do Yazoo and Kadaj have this power? I don't know these things since the last Yazoo I met was trying to lick Crescent's boots... or was that Kadaj doing that? I know one of them was in love with her and one of them was trying to get in that Turk's pants. I forget who was who.

Oh, and Claire Redfield, your Wesker fantasies are getting really out there. Stick to using the feather, not the whole chicken.

Genesis, parts of Sephiroth are probably not as good in bed as he is. Besides, when they find out about your 'children', that's going to get ugly. Your boys versus Jenova's. Now that I would like to see.

Prince, you do know that Link probably wouldn't like it if you did that with Zelda. Other Prince, it's illegal in a lot of countries to use a donkey like that or to do that with a glow in the dark woman. Kinky though.

Aaron! You finally got your threesome with you, Sasuke, and Itachi. Nice visual. Add in Wesker, and you can have your own red-eyed tribe.

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:26:14 GMT

All of you with telepathy, bite my arse. Sucks, doesn't it? Damn good thing none of you know how to actually use it besides hearing everyone in the city. Do not fuck around with it. You could blow out someone's brains. Whatever you do, don't think at a person or you could end up with a brain dead puppet. As fun as that sounds, it's not after awhile. They don't even know they need to eat or go take a piss without you telling them to.

Try not to go insane. I always feel that getting drunk is a great idea when the voices get to be too much. If I have to, I can shield you some, but you need to get my woman some new underwear for me to do that. I'm not getting a headache for nothing.